Dammit. I’m a food addict. For real.
I don’t know about any of you, but I really really struggle with this. First of all, the label. Addict. In my mind, it’s reserved for actual drugs. But the evidence is there. Food addiction is a real thing, and science is beginning to accept it as such. Sugar in particular holds an addictive punch some say is greater than cocaine. If that’s not a drug, I don’t know what is.
The naysayers will say that it’s not a drug. Everyone does it, and what’s the harm? Well – the harm is our obesity pandemic. Our country is in a state of emergency, and the bizarre thing is no one is noticing the cause. But sugar and food are so pervasive in our culture – think about it. We have food at every holiday; birthdays, Christmas, Thanksgiving, Halloween, Easter, Labor Day, Memorial Day – they’re all about food at this point.
This is not a negative thing in and of itself. Food is not the devil here – as per usual, the devil is in the details. The details, of course, is the addictive nature of our food, caused by the sugar and fat the food is composed of. Biologically, this works against us. Our brains absolutely light up at the sugar content of our food.
My addictive self loves this. And as I’m struggling to get healthy and help my body heal, I have to release this food. My body needs whole, healthy foods to heal, and I’m doing it. It means no sugar, no flour, no “treats” because I “deserve” it.
It’s hard.
Sugar releases endorphins in our body, and endorphins make us feel good. My body wants to feel good right now. The autoimmune conditions I’m dealing with make me tired, achy (my joints), and inflamed. Also cranky (ask my poor kids and husband). So a nice, sugary, “treat” sounds awesome. Except it doesn’t – because the flip side is it exacerbates all the symptoms – later.
So I’m having to come to terms with the fact that it’s my addictive side crying out for this stuff, not my healthy strong side. And I don’t like it.
But it’s okay – it’s worth it once I get through the hard part. As my body heals I’ll feel better – I know this because I’ve done it. The hard part is justification. In my mind, a little bit is okay – except it’s not. There is an old saying, “One is too many and a thousand is never enough”. I get it. One little bite of something that triggers me will send me into an hours- or days-long obsession where I just want more of whatever is “off my diet”. Meaning, of course, anything sugary, snack-like, or “bad”.
So why do I say anything about it at all? Because I think a lot of us are in the same boat. Try to imagine your birthday without cake. Christmas or Thanksgiving without pie. Movie night without popcorn, going out to dinner and ordering healthy. Life is too short, we say, just enjoy it.
I’m learning so much about what our bodies need and the damage we’re doing to ourselves by just eating whatever we want. It’s a hard pill to swallow, and an even harder walk to walk. However, that said, the power in accepting that I cannot control myself around these foods, is pretty immense. Understanding that it’s not because I’m weak or bad. It’s honestly an addiction.
I don’t have to guilt myself about it, I just have to accept it and move forward. I have to accept it so I can conquer it and be healthy. I’m going to be healthy because I want to help this awareness spread and help others gain peace around their food. By the way, the awesome byproduct of eating the way our bodies need is that you shed all the weight you no longer need. I’m down 30 pounds so far, and about another 30 to go.
I feel good. I look good. I’m excited for what’s coming next. All because I am accepting that I’m an addict.
Take a look at this book
. Even if you don’t subscribe to all of it, the research is there to back it up, and it really could change your life. You could finally gain peace. How great is that?
Britt
Against the Rules with Brittani O. 