We talk about surrender a lot in the spiritual community. I mean – a lot. And that’s not a bad thing. However, it brings to mind the Princess Bride.
So, what does it mean?
Well, to me, it’s about confidence. Confidence in yourself, and confidence that there is a force bigger than you directing things. So – confidence in yourself, how does that happen? I think we’re seriously misguided in our society on this one, to be honest. People really don’t like that snowflake label, but if we’re being honest . . . it’s got some merit.
We have got to remember that no one owes us anything. No one is going to take care of you, and no one has your interests more at heart than you do.
Cheerful, right? What can I say, I’m a ray of sunshine. 😉
Honestly though, this is actually a really good thing. It’s very empowering – this means you’re the one. You’re the one who is going to take care of you. You’re the one looking out for you, and as previously established, you have your own best interests at heart more than anyone else does.
Why is this empowering? Think back on your life – what have you been through? What have you accomplished? Have you made it through something shitty and come out stronger? Of course you have – unless you’re just a quivering pile of crap in the corner, you’re uniquely suited to take care of you.
Does this mean no one cares about you? Of course not, but that’s not really the point. Even if you’re the most loved person on the planet, your well-being and your destiny is still up to you. You can make positive changes today. Those changes will directly impact your life. That’s a lot of power, and it’s power we take for granted.
So how does this relate to surrender? It’s pretty simple, actually. You surrender to circumstance and chance, knowing that you’re able to handle whatever comes your way – regardless of whether you’ve dealt with a certain scenario before. You know that, beause of your unique talents and abilities, you’re able to handle anything. And guess what? You are. You honestly don’t have a choice but to handle it (whether that means you handle it good or bad is another matter, but it’s still going to be handled either way).
What about the higher power thing? I think everyone believes there is something outside ourselves. At least, I think we all feel it. Now, whether you’re an athiest or not, whether you believe we are just dust after we die, that’s fine. I think we still feel that human connection, and I think we all know that things will pretty well work out.
So what’s the benefit of surrender? Well, I think for one there’s a lack of stress once you surrender. Life is going to happen – you can either let it, or try to force it. One way is stressful, one way is adaptive. Surrender lets you be in the moment, without worrying so much about what will or has happened.
We talk a lot about being in the moment too – why? Because it’s the only thing we really have. We can put ourselves in a mindset of stress and worry about the future, or longing for the past, but neither option does a damn thing for us. Realistically I think we’re prone to planning (that’s definitely a good thing), and prone to reflecting (also a really good thing), and these are both opportunities for us to learn. But we have to make sure we’re striving to always stay in the moment. We won’t do it – we’re not really built that way – but the striving helps us to do it as much as possible.
When we can do that, we can surrender. When we can surrender, we can have peace.
When we have peace, we can love others, and when we love others, we can honestly heal those around us.